How touching the photographs depicting the fascinating game of parents and children look! How much enthusiasm is observed in the eyes of mothers when they, sitting on the couch with the baby, ride a typewriter or feed a doll, draw or sculpt. But is it always like that? Are all parents eagerly waiting for when it will be possible to postpone household chores or homework or, finally, watching the series so that the race with a screeching child runs around the apartment for an imaginary villain? Of course not. Feeling shame and guilty, most parents can not even admit that spending time with the baby ... is boring.
Sitting with a child is bored
Yes, playing and spending time with the baby is boring. This is the truth that should be written in capital letters. Let's spit on generally accepted norms and standards imposed on us about "the most precious time". Most adults are completely uncomfortable with typing cars, quacking ducks and showing how dolls eat. Hands involuntarily reach for the smartphone or to the remote control from the TV, or to the computer, where your favorite game is paused, and the zombies are all waiting for you to deal with them. We can’t do anything with ourselves, although deep down he calls himself terrible parents.
It's true? Are we bad parents?
Well, for starters, let's be completely frank. Children are not fools or insensitive creatures. They always feel when it is really interesting for us to sit with them, and when we "work out the number." Therefore, to “make up” an ideal dad or mom through force will not work. Not everyone can step over himself and fall into childhood in order to spend hours sincerely playing with the baby. Do you consider yourself a bad parent? As for me, if a child is full, healthy, well-dressed and smiling - you can relax.
But the Ivanovs’s son goes to the fork, and the Petrovs brought up their daughter according to the VERY SMART PSYCHOLOGIST method (we insert the name ourselves), and at the age of one and a half, she reads Kant and writes in Sanskrit. Are we bad parents and raise a dumb child?
According to my observations, all these “Ivanovs” and “Petrovs” are divided into two categories. The first ones really torment themselves and children, starting from six months after birth, wear them three times a week for classes (by the way, you do not need licenses to open these courses - you and I can open as many such "schools" as you like). The second - they just shamelessly lie about classes and about their excessive effectiveness. Just because it's fashionable. There is a third category - parents who take the child to developmental classes at an adequate age and in moderation (no more than 1-2 times a week), and also do not greatly exaggerate their effectiveness. Such a minority.
As for the fear of "raising a stupid child" ... We grew up in an era when children were given to the care of the state in infancy, and parents who were sick at work did not have much time to educate us according to fashionable methods. And nothing - we know how to read and write, we get higher education, work and earn. So if the kid really likes in the developmental courses - fine. If not, do not torture him and yourself. He will still become a good person, even if he is not able to sculpt elephants from salt dough.
The magazines describe the methods of playing with a child. We try, but we are not interested, and the baby does not succeed. But it is written that it is exciting and takes the child for hours. All is bad, right?
Let's understand the difference between theory and practice and not really trust everything written. The same famous "expert" Spock, in his memoirs, mixed his own children with mud for cruelty and tyranny. Therefore, we agree: our children are our children. And they are not interested in what is advised in magazines, but what attracts them at the moment. My son did not know how to assemble a pyramid a year, but the designer for children from 3 years old carried him away for hours. I learned to speak a year, and my son in two and a half knows only a few dozen words. To each his own, and no experts should intervene (except for pathological cases, of course).
But what needs to be done to make time with the child interesting?
Proceed from your own interests. For example, do you need to urgently call on business and not play dice? Tell the child that his help is needed in a very important matter, hand him the toy phone, pen and paper and ask him to “listen and write down” what was said. Well, in the same spirit, everything else - fantasize. This will be a game for the child, for you - a great way to combine business with the upbringing of the baby. Well, with the dice you still have to lose, at least a little.
How to dilute boring walks in parks and playgrounds? Make adventures. For example, offer to go protect the good birds from the evil spell of the sorceress who sent hunger upon them. The rest of the child fantasizes himself. So the usual feeding of pigeons will turn into a fairy tale for him, and you don’t have to take too much direct part in it, that is, to grunt and flap wings.
If you are unbearable - hire a nanny. This is not shameful and not shameful: entrust her with all the routine work, and leave yourself the opportunity to just fool around with the child, without all this "educational" husk.
Well, observe how much pleasure grandmothers babysit with a child: they peep, meow, and crawl ... Although, if you ask them well, they reluctantly admit that their children (that is, us) were also reluctantly raised and played with us through force. Why is that? Routine, worries, other hobbies. So don’t worry. We are not bad parents. We just "recoup" our grandchildren in due time.
