Wed, 07 Feb 2018 Posted by: Nika EtingerI thought for a long time, analyzing the experience of my friends. Where does our co-dependence with man come from when we cannot even take a step without anyone's approval?
I began to peer into the life of my loved ones, to reflect. If I am co-dependent, then it’s logical to assume that my friends are the same ... who is there to cheat. We all attach to each other as links in one chain.
Katya… . Kind, responsive mother of everything in the world, against her background I feel like an evil stepmother. All in children, circles, schools, lessons. I want to take a closer look, does she really like everything that way ... or not? The husband is a famous athlete, a large three-story house. But here one thing appears, the house was built on the same plot with parents. A dumb question arises, but why? Why be so close? Responsible answers, which are so convenient, grandparents help to look after the children. And now, instead of grandparents, a nanny appears on the scene ... Sometimes we ourselves don’t understand that we can’t tear ourselves away from our chest, that we were so accustomed to it.
Here is another amazing fact when I try to hint to her that it is time to stop dissolving in everyone and start to see and love myself, in return I get shocked and surprised eyes and speeches, but how could it be otherwise? I want to shout, look, you are overweight, regrown hair roots, broken nails without manicure, over the past 5 years with good income you only buy clothes for children and your husband, you solve the problems of your parents and younger brother, but not your personal ones ... Complain about the absence attention from the husband and other men, you feel miserable and ugly. Stop, this is a dead end !!!!
Sometimes it seems that self-love borders on selfishness, but this is not so. It is impossible to be good for everyone, it is impossible to please everyone. I at one time could not even decide to get married, all the time I turned around, but would my chosen one like my parents, and suddenly not, then what? I could not decide to have a baby, they told me that we were young and not yet time, and I silently listened to a nod and agreed, while one of my friends, after listening to my fears, laughed for a long time and said an amazing thing to me.
The fact that we have grown up and may not listen to anyone and make decisions on our own, albeit sometimes risky, crazy, but ours! I try now not to hold on to my children. I let them go, try not to force to follow me. I have my own rich personal life, it is in full swing, I have no time to climb into someone else's. Only by personal invitation !!! For many years, my father said that we need to visit someone, and I, a teenager who was going on a date, of course, refused. For this, righteous anger fell upon me, because they are parents and they know better where and with whom I should be.
I do not hold evil, I just always remember what I felt in these minutes. And now even when the children are waiting for me somewhere, I try to give them the right to choose, the right to make their mistakes and not depend on our opinion. If they do not want to go to congratulate their grandmother on their birthday, from the generally accepted point of view, this is terrible, and I try to look for the pros. I like to drive in a car myself and with loud music turned on. And let the grandchildren congratulate them on the phone, but my husband and I will have an extra minute alone.
I admit the idea that I can be mistaken, but I want to do only those things that bring me pleasure! By the way, about the pleasures .... My friend Zhenya started an affair with a married man. Condemn or rejoice? I’ll talk about this in the next article ... |
